Title: Love‘s Dark Spectre
Disclaimer: Harry, Tom the Voyager crew and Voyager belong to Paramount, and I can‘t do anything about it! Grrrrr!
Warnings: Some more mature themes.
Summary: Oh, you know what I write! <g>
Dedication—For sweet Thomas, for all the help he‘s given me.
Beta‘d by Thomas
"B-But can‘t you cure it?" Tom asked the Doctor continuing to hold on to Harry‘s weak, and frail hand.
"I‘m sorry Lt. It seems that this disease faded out and so a cure was never found. Treatments to slow it down were developed, but Mr. Kim is too far gone for any of those."
They had found out three weeks previous.
Harry had been diagnosed with the AIDS.
Neither could quite believe it. The injection both men took was meant to prevent pregnancy and any transmitted diseases, but from some oversight they‘d stopped taking the injection. Knowing that they were only going to be with each other and that they could not get the other pregnant, there had been little point, and thought it best to save there rations.
"This kind of thing isn‘t supposed to happen! It‘s the 24th century for Christ sakes!" Tom continued to yell at the Doctor.
"Mr. Paris." The Doctor began. "Continuing to shout at me will not help matters. Please try to remain calm!"
"REMAIN CALM? REMAIN CALM?" Tom screamed. "How the hell am I supposed to remain calm? I‘ve just been told that ‚this simple and easily curable disease‘ in your words TWO weeks ago" Tom emphasized the word ‚two‘. "That this disease," Tom repeated, stuttering slightly. "Is going to kill my lover. Take Harry away from me." Tom finished dejectedly, looking back at his still-sleeping lover on one of the bio-beds.
"I can‘t lose him, Doctor." Tom spoke with tears running down his face. "I just can‘t lose my Harry." Tom finished a look of saddened defeat on his face.
Placing a computerized hand on Tom‘s shoulder the Doctor spoke again. "I know, Lt. But you have to remain strong. For Harry!"
Tom merely nodded, not having the strength, nor will to do anything else.
Tom was still by Harry‘s side, refusing to go anywhere else.
The Captain had not ordered Tom to duty because she knew he would not obey. He wouldn‘t leave Harry‘s side, and what is more, she wouldn‘t force him to.
In sickbay there was an eerie silence.
Kes was working in the Office with the Doctor, both desperately trying to find a cure to save the young, yet incredibly fragile man out in the main bay.
"I love you Harry. Stay with me. Please don‘t go." Tom kept repeating over and over, continuing to stroke Harry‘s now thin, but still soft hair.
Over the past few days, all of the senior staff had come to see Harry.
He remembered them all clearly. His friends. The people he had come to love and hold closest than anyone.
Neelix had brought flowers and pictures to brighten the place up, and stayed many hours telling Harry stories of past adventures, which Harry listened to in awe.
Harry had shed so many tears for B‘Elanna.
Her Klingon side had disappeared and been replaced by a hollow shell, who was so obviously heart-broken at the loss of her friend. She had come, and cried, and had prayed for her friend to live The Captain.oh, the Captain. ‚Harry thought‘
She‘d done what she always did. She had constantly been back and fourth with new ideas for treatments that the Doctor may have missed. They were no use, but that didn‘t stop her. She couldn‘t cope with losing her crew this way. In battle yes, but like this...
The rest had all come in turn, Chakotay, Tuvok, Geron, Bateheart and a few others.
But Tom had never left his side in days. Harry had tried to get him to go home but Tom wouldn‘t.
Harry was not asleep but let Tom think he was. He was struggling hard not to let tears escaped his closed eyes as he heard Tom beg him not to die.
How could he do this? Leave his lover in such a way? He wanted to live. God he wanted to live, to be with his lover forever, but he knew that was not going to happen.
He could actually feel the painful weight of his body growing less as the minutes went buy. He could feel himself begin to ascend to a new place of being, but he couldn‘t leave yet! Not without saying goodbye, to his sweet love.
"T-Tom..." Harry rasped out, struggling to speak. He needed to say the right things, think clearly, but in the end he didn‘t have the strength to think and just allowed the words to flow.
"Yes Harry! What is it? Let me get you some water." Harry was just getting up when Harry squeezed Tom‘s hand. "No, stay.d-don‘t have much longer."
"Don‘t say that! We‘re gonna beat this thing.
Nothing will take you from me!" Tom argued. Not sure if he was trying to convince Harry or himself.
"Oh, Tom." Harry said with a smile on his face. "Still my sweet, charming playboy." Harry continued to speak, coughs now breaking up his words.
"I don‘t have much longer Tom. Everything‘s going dark." Both Tom and Harry allowed tears to escape as Harry described his own in-process death.
Harry watched, half in horror that he was leaving Tom, and half in joy of knowing he ‚would‘ see Tom again, as he looked into Tom‘s icy depths watching as they began to fade away into the dark.
Everything around Tom was a cold blackness. Harry could only make out Tom‘s sweet face. The face that had defended him made him laugh, cry and blush. The face he had fallen in love with. He watched Tom‘s face as even that began to fade into the dark.
"Oh Tom, I‘m s-so scared. I‘ll be with you again, my love."
Harry grabbed Tom‘s hand through the emptiness.
"Goodbye my love." Harry said with his dying breath.
Days later, when the memorial was taking place Tom had still not spoken. He‘s been transported back to his quarters and given a sedative, the shock too much.
He went to sleep for the first time in three years, without his lover.
He didn‘t know what made him get up. What made him change clothes, and attempt to look decent for Harry‘s memorial. Yes, he did know. He didn‘t want to look bad for Harry. Harry deserved more than that, and Tom would not deny him.
He entered the Mess hall where the memorial was taking place. The Captain was just asking if anyone else had anything to add.
Everyone attending all turned when the doors opened and Tom came in. Many people were shocked at his ghostly appearance but did not speak.
"I‘d like to say one thing." Tom began. His voice showing the signs of not speaking for days.
"Harry was the best thing in my life. I had the happiest times with him, the most memorable times. He was my everything, he was my love. I want him to know," Tom looked out of the windows into the vastness of Space. "That we‘ll be together again, I‘ll join him whereever he‘s gone, and" Tom stopped a moment to wipe some of the tears that were racing down his face. "A-and my love," tom continued speaking to Harry now and no one else. "Take care, Har, we‘ll be together again.soon."