Title: Shattered to His Soul
Series: VOY
Rating: PG
Code: P
Part: 1/1 NEW
Date: January 2001

Summary: A coda to Shattered, from Tom's point of view. Spoilers contained

Disclaimer: Paramount owns Voyager and its characters. I've only
borrowed the characters to satisfy my own creative urges.
Archiving is okay, just e-mail me. Please keep disclaimer and my
name attached.

Special thanks to my beta readers: Ronda and Marianne.

Shattered to His Soul
January 2001

He had stumbled across the file while helping Tuvok repair a communications
relay after Voyager had been attacked yet again. At first he didn't even
know what it was he was listening to. By the time he did, it was too late.

Chakotay should be more careful, Tom thought. A man of his position and
experience, should learn how to better encode his personal
logs--particularly logs which contained such confidential information.
Information that no one else should know.

"Mr. Paris, please pass me a sonic wrench."

Tom looked up from an open panel still holding an audio device against his
ear, the Vulcan's words barely registered.

"Mr. Paris, the sonic wrench?" Vorik repeated.

"Ah, sonic wrench," the pilot confirmed. "Got it." Finding the tool, he
tossed it across the corridor into Vorik's waiting hands. He then picked up
a cable splicer and turned away from the Vulcan.

Vorik noted the blank look on the young man's face. Choosing to ignore it,
he continued with the repair confident Paris would resume his own assigned

Trying to refocus, Tom's hand tightened on the splicer until his knuckles

The Captain dead. Chakotay too, seventeen years ago. It's what the future
Icheb and Naomi had told the First Officer. It seemed so unreal...but then
again that was what life was like on board Voyager--unpredictable. It was
also one of those damned time paradoxes, but this one struck home,
particularly when Chakotay recalled his visit to the Mess Hall.

Chakotay noted during his time on Voyager when the ship had been fragmented
into different periods of time, he'd visited the Mess Hall. That particular
area of the ship was living in a period of time shortly after Voyager had
been struck by an time-altering energy stream. By Tom's calculations, this
could have been the incident which was responsible for killing the two
senior officers. It was there in the Mess Hall, which was being used as a
emergency Triage Unit, Chakotay had witnessed the pilot caring for the
injured. Chakotay related how Tom told him there were a lot of casualties,
and how he needed medical supplies and the EMH's help. The EMH? Had the
Doctor also been a victim of the blast?

It was just too much. The First Officer recalled a touching moment between
Tuvok and the Janeway from the past. On one of the cots lay a severely
injured Tuvok, his face severely burned from radiation poisoning. Janeway
had gone to comfort her injured friend. Tuvok had extended the
traditionally Vulcan greeting: Live Long and Proper, before he died.

With an echoing clang, the splicer fell to the deck.

Janeway, Chakotay, Tuvok--all dead, the EMH offline. And Tom Paris thus in
charge of not only the ship, but of the medical facilities. In one chilling
moment, he'd become Captain AND Chief Medical Officer. It was overwhelming.
They had unexpected incidents happen all the time on Voyager. When the crew
woke in the morning, they never knew exactly what the day would hold. If
they'd spend another routine day on the ship, or be embroiled in a life or
death battle.

But damn! Could he, the here-and-now Tom Paris cope if the circumstances
ever called on him to be the ship's captain? What if Voyager's three senior
officers did die in battle? What if the Doc, couldn't be brought on line?
Then what? Could he handle the situation?

Oh he knew he'd have help. Harry would make a fine first officer, and he
could finally give Harry the second pip he so deserved. Seven of Nine could
assume Harry's responsibilities on the ship, she'd be...efficient. Ayala
would succeed Tuvok. And there were a couple of very competent pilots,
either of whom could become chief pilot. Of course, B'Elanna would still be
in Engineering. He knew his wife would never want to be stuck on the Bridge
away from her precious warp core.

Why was he thinking about this? Why was he already making plans in his
mind? Damn, he didn't want anything like this to happen. Maybe he was just
being morbid? It was like every time his father was late returning home
from a mission. He had these awful thoughts course through his brain that
the Admiral had met some dire fate. He found he just couldn't help it.

Tom swallowed hard and with a subconscious shake of his head, whisked the
negative thoughts away. He put the information he had learned from
Chakotay's log in a far away place in his mind, hopefully never to be
remembered again. Picking up the splicer he stoically returned to his task.

Suddenly the ship shook, the klaxons blared and red lights flashed.

::::Senior Staff report to the Bridge! We are under attack!::::

The End

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